the memoirs of a rebellious teen

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

alli beth...

hmmm. i miss my bffs. especially allison & tatiana. :*(
*tears are shed*
heres a pic of alli:

myspace: myspace.com/iwuvpookies

polo....

this is my doggy. he's my baby. his name is Polo. my voice is the voice in the backround.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

hey guys. im super bored. and ther is lk nothng on the tube. ugghhhh.

ok. ok. sooooo. amber, my bffl, has epilepsy. thts nothing new. but she's been rlly violent toward her parents and has been lk going off on them and she's been at sheppard pratt, a hospital for people tht hav issues, lk 3 times now and uggghhh...her mom just calld me and told me that they had to take her back to franklin square hospital, a regular hospital, last nite and she just got out of sheppard pratt lk last week and im rrly mad at her. because she's being a big brat. she needs to change her attitude and stop being a big 'ol spoiled brat. if she changed her attitude, she could hav evrything she evr wantd in the palm of hand. she has a great family...her dad is the pastor of my church and she has a rlly awesome mom too. and she has 4 other brothers and sisters, she's the middle child, but noooooooooo! she has to be mean and obnoxious and nasty and push evry1 away from her and thn she gets mad bcuz she says she has no friends!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! im gonna slap her!! oh my goshhhhhh!!! she could hav evrything, but nooooooooo! she has to be nasty and mean. i love her to death, but sometimes she can be a rlliy mean person. and thn at othr times she can be a rlly nice & sweet person. its just rlly irritating, bcuz all i want is for her to get btr and thts wht evry1 else wants for her too, but i dunno if she wants it for herself. lk i said, i love her to death and all i want is for her to get btr, bcuz i miss hanging out with her and tlkng to her and stuf, shes lk my sister. i just want her to get better. thts all i want. and to realize tht she has an amazing life, evn tho it can be rlly rough at times...whtevr.
if yu evr read this amb, just kno, all i want is for yu to get better. ily<33

i kinda miss home. i mean its fun being away, but i miss my pets and...i dunno - i never thought i would say this - but i miss my parents. uggghhh!! i cannot believe i just said/typed that. holy shiz. goddd. im lk turning into a old person, such as my parents. lol. tht was a good one. i miss my friends. and church. i was rlly bummed whn i missed church on easter. because i lk church. i love it. its my favorite place in the whole world. its amazinggg. just the feeling tht i, personally, get. i feel SOOOO close to God. its awesome. i dunno how to even explain it. andthe people ther are SOOO amazing too. lk Pastor Mike, Pastor Bobby, and Ms. Robyn (Pastor Mike's wife). and lk all of the people in and involved in the youth ministry. amazing, awesome people. so great. its lk some people wake up and dread having to go to church, but whn i wake up on Sunday im sooo happy. its an incredible feeling, basically lk im in love. and i am in love with Jesus and God. is tht okay to say?? its lk a merciful and thankful and grateful love. lk i kno how much God loves me and it just blows me away. seriously. lk He hung on a cross and suffered. for me?? wht? why? im nothing special compared to Him or the Father. i am a puny spec compared to Them. sooooo why did He do it?? how could He do tht?? and just so tht i could be saved from hell? now going to hell is wht i deserve to do, because i am a frikin sinner. omg, yes i am. and wht i deserve to do is burn, but i wont, because of Jesus, because he ded for me and thn rose again on the 3rd day and He's coming bCK. no one, except the Father, knos whn though. it doesnt matter to me though because i believe and i wanna go with Him.
ttyl.